Winter turns to Spring, let the re-awakening begin.
When fear stands in the way of progress and makes life stagnant, sometimes greater forces involve themselves to show you the errors of your ways and point you back down the road on which you’re meant to be. Often its a gentle nudge from a loved one, a passage in a book, a character in a film that resonates with you. Sometimes, however, it’s a slap in the face, a forceful stripping of everything you misguidedly thought important. These triggered transformative periods could last years if you’ve habitually turned your internal message receptors off. If you’ve let the world’s views become your own. If you’ve lost the connection with your heart and soul that have tried to direct you since birth.
I’ve hovered on the edge of reinvention so many times it’s become cliche, a personal soapbox of change, without the change. I had the courage to speak it, but the fear to live it was crippling my action. Years of a habit of inaction, misguided action, someone else’s action becomes a comfortable crutch. It’ll take intense reprogramming to break these patterns. My internal voice, my soul or spirit, knew this and took the action my mind wasn’t willing to. It shut me down, a physical and mental break. Who I truly am got tired of who I’ve pretended to be and called bullshit.
I’m still in the process of stripping down so I can build back up, but ironically this process of breaking and failures feels better than the successes I’ve had. Perhaps because I feel the successes that are to come will be my successes, perceived as such by my internal definition of success and not a definition set by outer influences.
The purpose of my life is to write, create, and flourish as an individual; to encourage people to expect magic, love fiercely, and live bravely.
That is my mission statement, my purpose going forward, one that I feel all the events of my past and the desires of my heart are pointing me toward. The next year is going to be about reading ferociously and writing habitually, in an effort to get my mind and body back to a state of flourishing. I will use my words and the words of others to make a meaningful impact on the lives of those who want change, who want what their heart calls of them, who want to flourish. It’s going to take sacrifice, new habits, and small steps to reach a life’s work goal.
Am I ready? Is anyone ever ready for the uncertain? I think it’s an adventure of magic and the heart.
Expect magic, love fiercely, live bravely.